Black and White, you and me, In that order
by Protectress of Dalidon
Summary: All or nothing, always or never. Those were her choices and until she was strong enough, Switch was going to stick with one, no matter how much she wanted the other.
1. A slight truce

She looked at him as he came through the narrow doorway. He was always like that, bold as brass and ready to do whatever anyone asked of him. A frown creased her brow as she finished her goop, standing to put the empty container on the bench. No one mentioned that she hadn't eaten a meal with him for almost a week. His eyes followed her out and for a brief moment she wanted to stop and take his hands in hers. But that was a weakness no warrior needed and she wouldn't let her feelings get in the way. If they were going to die, they were going to die fighting. Why did she have to remind herself? Of course the pair of them would go down with guns ablaze, it was the only way with them, all or nothing. All or nothing. All, nothing. And she had nothing. And he had all, everything and she was left with the empty feeling in her heart. The screens drew her like a moth to a flame. It was impossible not to look at those green lines and wonder what they would show when there were two more dead bodies in there. Hearing footsteps on the ladder, she whirled away, grateful that her short hair didn't allow movement to de revealed. It was him.

"Have you seen the new training sim?" It was the first thing he had said to her for five days, seven hours.

"Yeah, it looks like a challenge." She studied some cables without seeing them.

"Do you want to go in with me?"

"Sure," she shrugged," why not?" But she still didn't look at him, her shoulders squared and muscles ready to react.

"Ok. I'll ask Tank to tell us when he's ready."

"All right, come get me when we're set." He nodded, turning on his heel and walking away. She too left the Core, heading back to her room to finish packing her bag. It was something to calm her down, something to get her focused on a task, something to make the world bearable without him. The clothes fitted neatly into the pack, which she stowed under her bed. She was sitting calmly as he called her. Quietly she went out, lying easily in the chair which would let her find that world between worlds. He looked tense, she noted as she closed her eyes, as though he were worried. But he never worries. Always or never. Never.
    
    *

She sat and watched the walls, waiting for them to move closer. He was standing in the doorway, watching her with those soft eyes. They had fought, bitter words flying in the silence between them. Her eyes met his and held, forcing them to do more than talk. His eyes stayed with hers, refusing to meet the anger he saw reflected in her eyes. He had said things that had hurt, cut her to the quick. The others had too, comparing her to the black haired woman she was nothing like. But he had been trying to convince her she was perfect, the liar. She wasn't going to be able to take on the other woman with success. But it didn't matter, she was nothing like her, she didn't like the darkness to wrap around her. She wanted the light, she wanted the sun. She wanted him. He wanted her, all or nothing. All or nothing. Nothing.

*

*~*

A/N: I hope you guys like Switch and Apoc, I do, they're so great! This is pre-movie and hence there is no Neo yet…


	2. A hellofalot harder

The sim was hard, but she pushed herself forward quietly. The alley was filled with garbage cans, old cardboard boxes, trash. They hadn't found her yet, and she hadn't found him. All or nothing. Licking her lips she checked the phone was in her pocket, it was. It rang, she answered it.

"Heading towards Kingscross."

"You or them?" She asked, watching the world around her with careful eyes. She checked her gun.

"Them."

"Damnit."

"You going to be ok?"

"They haven't got me yet." The reply wasn't to his liking but it was all he got, the phone closed. All or nothing. Always or never. All, always. She took to her feet, leaping with grace the obstacles in the way. Her target was a fire escape, it would get her onto the roof and from there she could make it to the only exit she knew about. A phone rang as she rounded the bend, she faltered. It wasn't the one she wanted, she told herself firmly, keep going. But the hesitation was still there. Swearing, she lifted the receiver to her ear.

"Thank you Miss…" The voice was snake-like and she dropped her hold on the voice. Taking a deep breath, she sprinted for the ladder, grabbing the bottom rung as bullets littered the air just below her feet. With speed that astounded even herself, she was on the roof, the ladder behind her. A voice she knew made her spin.

"I see we have something that you want this time." The man in the suit smirked, jerking a limp body into view. Her mouth went dry. She could feel the great bruises starting on his body as though they were her own. Nothing, never. Her feet pushed her faster than ever before, away from the man and the still form. If there was anything she learnt, it was that once they had you, there was no coming back. Heart pounding unevenly, she leapt over the gap between the buildings. Something embedded itself in her ankle. It hurt. She landed, stumbled, rolled and tried to push herself forward, back onto her feet so she could make it to the end. But something happened and she was suddenly ungainly. A hand reached out and yanked her behind a chimney, she threw punches, kicks, anything so she could get away, get to her goal. 

"Hey, calm down, I got you, they're gone." It was his voice, his face and she wanted everything, always, but only for a moment. 

"Let me go you son-of-a-coppertop." She hissed through clenched teeth. 'He can't be here, the Agent has his body, this isn't Apoc,' her mind screamed at her.

"Hey, calm down, we have to get to Burke." She frowned, eyes clouding.

"Why?"

"It moved." An exit never moved. Besides, Tank would have told her.

"Ok." She didn't believe him, but she knew that whatever had gone into her ankle wasn't going to let her get away easily. But she licked her lips, watching him with quiet eyes. If they were going to play hardball, then she could too. Flexing the damaged foot, she found that it didn't hurt as much as before. Carefully, she eased her weight onto it. Not perfect, not even close, but it would have to do. She only had a block to go. Limping quietly in the shadows she wished she didn't like white so much, it made her stick out like a sore thumb. The drainpipe called to her, the phone was right next to it. Casting a glance at the one who couldn't be who she thought, she decided that it was as good a time as any to get out and get away. Focusing all her energy on sliding down the metal cylinder, she leapt over the edge, fingers catching and holding around her target. The phone rang as she landed, trying to put her weight on the undamaged foot. It didn't work and she rolled into the glass, feeling it shatter over her. There was a heavy thud and she looked at the concrete, it had buckled and cracked. Quickly, she tucked herself into a tighter ball to fit through the space where the glass had been, determined to get out. The cool against her skin was welcome as she pressed her escape to her ear. But all she heard was the quiet discharge of the firearm aimed at her.

"I hope you've learnt something…" The sinister voice said as the receiver was shattered at her ear. Pulling out her gun, she leaned against the support and fired rapidly the clips she had at the suited man holding the gun aimed at her. He dodged, as she knew he would. Nothing, never. A smile curved his lips as he raised the gun again at her, her phone rang, she snapped it open.

And opened her eyes.

"That was close, you sure had me scared for a moment there Switch." The Op beamed at her from his seat as his brother removed the jack.

"I'll have a look at your ankle if you like." Big and gentle, good old Dozer.

"No, it's fine." She lied, putting her feet on solid metal, preparing for the telltale stiffness that would prove she hadn't been focused enough. Looking at Tank, she let the question fall easily from her lips.

"Did he make it out?"

"Yup, about five minutes ago." The smile was consoling and she knew that she would have to work harder.

*~*

A/N: This was originally in the first chapter, but I decided it was too much in a chunk, so I separated it. Enjoy!

Danny Barefoot: Thank you for your review, I'm glad you liked it, even if it was originally a bit jumbled. I fixed the full stop thing in the first bit and I think I explained better about Apoc being behind the chimney, I think… Let me know if not :)

Kal Torak: Thanks! I think this story has potential. Please let me know if it's better now that it's a little more segmented. :)


	3. An unspoken challenge

"I don't want you to go back in." He said softly, running his fingers through the shock of bright white hair. It had been a kind of desperate relief she had sought him out after training. He hadn't questioned her, dark eyes merely resting on her in a welcoming manner. Being alive was enough for both of them, all and nothing, always and never.

"But I have to." She countered, eyes finding his. "I know I can beat the thing, I know…"

"Please Switch, I don't want you going back in there."

"Why?" She was perplexed, it showed in her eyes, in the way she stopped touching his skin. Contact had been their comfort in private, closeness in public. He sighed.

"Because I know you can't do it, no matter how hard you try, you just won't be able to."

"What?" She asked softly, eyes growing harder as the time elapsed.

"You don't have whatever it is that lets you bend the rules far enough." He almost mentioned the other woman's name, but the fury in her eyes stopped him.

"You really believe that?" There was a pause, he assessed her reaction and for a moment he considered taking back the harsh but true words. But they were out there, they were in the air and they couldn't be called back now.

"Yes, I do. I'm with you now, but there's no guarantees…" He said something else after that but she failed to hear him, the message from the Oracle echoed in her ears. Suddenly she couldn't breathe, couldn't find a way to stop the walls closing in on her. With a suppressed cry of distress, she stumbled out of the bed, fully clothed, bar her boots, which she didn't bother with.

"Switch." He called softly in the almost silent night. She shook her head, clawing at the door, which opened into the cold corridor. Her feet failed as she reached the door of her own room. It tore at his heart, the sound of the hardly used door opening, her weight landing with considerable force and echoing in the hollow hull. In the same moment, they pressed their eyes closed, both fighting against tears. He knew she would be angry now, would be determined to prove that she could be as good as the others. How much did being on the same ship as the legendary Trinity and the mad man Morpheus need for a toll? How much could they afford to pay? How much did they have left?

*~*

A/N: This was also part of chapter 1, edited a little to make more sense. Please enjoy!


	4. A quiet bond

Cypher made a wise crack, Trinity glared and Apoc smirked a little. But she was silent, eyes on the liquid in her bowl. Obviously, the joke had been intended for her and the room fell silent. She looked up, eyes cold, spooning the last of the goop into her mouth daintily. Then she stood, sweeping out of the room almost like royalty, it was amusing to her and probably to him as well. She wouldn't eat dinner with him, she was going to be busy. The Op was sitting in his chair, happily monitoring the mess of code that was the Matrix.

"Tank," she began quietly, just to his right.

"You want to have another go at that program." It was a statement and his lips curled upward in a smile. She nodded.

"When you have time."

"I've got the night shift, swap with Trin and I'll take you back in." She merely nodded again, heading off to do her own work before asking the black haired woman to change shifts. Planning quickly, she decided that the best way to approach the other woman was to be as blank as possible, to make it seem normal. It was agreed, Trinity would take the current shift and Switch would be on night duty. It wasn't necessary to question the motives, they had been crew for a long time, almost four years. And they understood each other. While they may not always agree, it was everything for the crew, all, always. The time flew by and she settled in the chair as the lights fell away to let the crew on the lower decks sleep.

"You ready Raven?" The Zion born Op asked, teasing.

"When you are Snowy." It was a shared joke, the names so unsuited. It had come from a recruit who had an obsession with names and their meanings. That obsession had driven the young boy into the hands of Agents. No one ever talked about it any more, no one really knew him the way Switch and Tank had. And now no one was going to. The world around her was as white as her hair, brighter than that. She smiled slightly, lifting her phone to her ear.

"Alright, here's the deal, you do as much as you can tonight, I'll go over what you didn't manage to do and we'll try again in a couple of days, okay?"

"Fine. Any advice to start?"

"No one else is in there, no matter what you think you see, it's just you Raven. Got it?"

"Sure thing Snowy, I got it."

"Good, 'cause here you go…" And the world changed again.

*~*

A/N: And the program is coming. I hope I got Tank IC, if not, please let me know, thanks :)


	5. A gutfelt truth

Heart pounding, she landed as light as a cat, pausing to watch and assess her surroundings. The alley she had been in last time was a block north, she realized that her mistake had been going that way in the first place. She wasn't Trinity, she didn't like heights. Licking her lips she walked quickly the opposite direction. The crowded streets parted for her and dispersed into the night, that was the best bit about programs, the time never changed. Unless it was specified before running the initial start up procedures, but she wanted to get it partially right once in the same time, she felt more comfortable there. Taking a deep breath, she moved swiftly through a narrow gap between buildings, aware that the windows opened just above jump height, making it almost impossible to get into them. A wry smile twisted the corner of her lips. But then, nothing was impossible. Casting a glance at the wall she assessed the chance she could use it as a rebound point, but the gap was far too thin. All there was room for was the old balcony that hadn't been taken down when the newer apartments had been built. Eyes flicking up, she prepared to push off, her fingers only extending as she left the ground, reaching for the rusted metal. With a groan, the supports began to leave the wall; she angled her swing so she could hook her feet on the ledge of the window. It was a risky move but there were always reasons for what she wore. The toes held for long enough for her to check her momentum and crash through the window… Into an empty room. The place had been deserted for years by the look of it, dust covering the ground thickly. A smile almost touched her lips. She didn't have time to marvel at the graphics. Quietly she drew the gun she always carried, opening the next door softly. Another empty room, probably the lounge or dining room judging by the size. The windows opened onto the other building's side. Pursing her lips, she considered taking the chance of getting into the other apartment block, but that was far too dangerous, even for her. There was a manhole in the ceiling, which was odd since the flat she was in was only on the second floor. Eyes narrowed with determination, she pushed off the cover and discovered the warren that had been left to fester, it was disgusting. Rolling her eyes, she crawled through the filth until she saw another opening, this one to the outside. A ventilation shaft of some descript. She frowned again, the dust clinging to her body. The opening occurred above a Dumpster, the lid closed. The alley was empty and it was with relief she realized it looked nothing like the one she had taken the last time she had been in. With grim satisfaction, she prepared to dive out of the tunnel. As her feet touched the ground, barely coming out of the summersault in time, her phone rang. She snapped it open.

"Yeah?"

"I have to pull it, someone is very unimpressed."

"Shit, he's there?"

"Sorry Switch, he figured it out himself." 'Ah,' she thought, 'he's standing nearby.'

"Ok, where?"

"You want to keep going? He's damn mad." It was a clear warning, but she ignored it. Screw him, not.

"I want an exit, I'm on a mission remember."

"Ok, go to the end of the alley, go left, first right, left door. Got it?"

"Left, right, left door, not hard. I'll make it."

"You're going to have to." The phone was closed and with a sigh she shook off the clinging dust. Definitely one of the benefits of RSI, you didn't really get grimy. It was somewhat an anticlimax as she headed to the exit, she had been sure she had made the right decisions, they had been instinctive, gut-felt, this time. Cursing fluently in her mind she picked up the receiver, rushing back into her body. She could feel the waves of anger rolling off him and she had to find courage to open her eyes and face his. There was more fury behind the dark depths than she had ever seen and for a moment she thought she had made the wrong choice. But this wasn't a red or blue; this was a no option type. Come to think of it, that was what the red and blue had been for her so it really didn't matter. Blue had never been an option. He was silent and she waited for Tank to undo the restraints before gracefully sitting up.

"I told you I didn't want you back in there." It was deathly quiet as he hissed the words through clenched teeth.

"And I told you I could beat it. How was I doing Tank?" She asked, never taking her eyes from the angry man's.

"You were doing what was best, you were closer by half a mile than last night, your reaction times were quicker and your vitals were more stable…"

"Gee, looks like practice pays off." She set her feet on the floor and rose quietly. She'd be damned if she'd let him win this one.

"Yeah, but you don't have time to practice in there."

"More reason for me to get it out here." She snapped quickly, voice as soft as his. No one would wake other crew if they didn't have to.

"Switch, I'll finish the rest of this shift."

"No, I swapped it, I do it. You have to help Morpheus find that kid tomorrow, that'll be hard work." He was silent, eyes pegging her. But he gave in, walking away from her, going back down the ladder and finally closing his door with a gentle click.

"That is the scariest thing I've ever had to deal with from you two."

"We didn't do anything." She said, checking over the green code on the monitors.

"Yeah, which is my point. I would have been less worried if you'd screamed at each other."

"But that would have woken the others and we all need our sleep." He shook his head with a small smile.

"That's what's so funny Switch, they're all awake, They knew you were going in again."

"And they wanted to know how I did, right?" It wasn't really a question and the subjected dropped as something in the Matrix caught the attention of the woman. She pointed a finger slowly at the area of code.

"Oh shit, that's the one we were watching."

"What happened?"

"He's hit the jackpot."

"He found the archives we left for him?" The Op nodded grimly.

"And not a single problem with getting around the walls."
    
    "Like a maze…" She mused softly, watching as the boy voraciously devoured the information. He really did earn his name. 

"And he's just turned 18, if he chooses red we don't have to let Deadbolt get to him."

"Perfect, absolutely perfect." But even as her features held an air of excited expectance, the words from the Oracle repeated recklessly in her mind, tearing up her confidence and her peace. Couldn't there be one potential she didn't suspect? But then, this slip of a boy was too young and far too unstable to be who she feared. It was that simple, he wasn't someone she would die for, not yet and that helped her breathe normally again. She would have known by now, she would know and that was all she needed to count on. She'd know before anyone else, and then she'd be able to make the choice she wanted. Until then, it stayed as it had been. Nothing, never.

*~*

A/N: There is a prize to the person who guesses who they're talking about at the end of this chapter. So please, take a wild shot and see what you come up with :) Enjoy!

Da Buffster: I hope you did ok on your maths test, I Hate maths to. I think I'd like a ramble on the possibilities for funny lines in stories. Or odd things that characters do. Something like that but please, no chickens, pretty please? ;) I hope to hear from you soon with the next chapter of your story!

Summer: Here you go, an update! Have fun! :)


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